February 2010

Singles go to town

If you’re ready to change your single status, read on for tips and tricks from two dating experts on romance (and how to hook up) in 2010

WORDS UTE JUNKER

If finding love is high on your list of new year’s resolutions, here is some fresh advice from two people for whom matchmaking is their profession. Here’s what Trudy Gilbert of Elite Introductions and Dan Bacon, the creator behind themodernman.com, have to say about how to meet someone special.

How to meet someone and break the ice

Trudy: There are available people everywhere. It’s all about your attitude. Every day is an opportunity to potentially meet someone — it could be in the lift, or where you get your coffee every morning.

Dan: If you want to find a girlfriend, simply start talking to women everywhere you go. You’ll be surprised at how open (and how flattered) most women are that you had the confidence to walk up and start talking to them. Women really aren’t as scary and mean as many think they are.

Creative first dates

Trudy: Today, people don’t want to be seen making too much of an effort — they prefer a low-key approach. Organising an activity — rollerblading, sailing, a coastal walk — is a lot more interesting than the standard dinner and drinks.

Dan: The innovative part of the first date should come from your personality, not where you go. We tell men to use their charm to get their date to laugh, talk about herself and enjoy the date. Catching up for a coffee, a drink, or a bite to eat at a casual restaurant is a good idea. Trying too hard will scare a lot of women off.

Most romantic places to take a date

Trudy: Somewhere by the water; a cosy, out-of-the-way wine bar; a beautiful park — take a gourmet picnic.

Dan: Sunset dates are very romantic. If you can find a great bar, restaurant or café that overlooks a nice beach, take your date there for some relaxed conversation and laughs about an hour before sunset.

How to guarantee a second date

Trudy: Understand that the first date is not the time to reveal everything about yourself. I compare a first date to a job interview — it’s about a controlled release of information. Be careful how much you disclose: you want to leave them wanting to know more about you. Don’t share all your bad habits — people need to appreciate the positive first.

Dan: To get a second date, the woman needs to be attracted to you — and the easiest way to ensure that is to be confident and use humour.

Most romantic destinations

Trudy: Anywhere with great atmosphere, good food and the chance to be romantic. Staying at one of those beautiful lodges in (Tasmania’s) Cradle Mountain, where you have great views and a fireplace, is lovely.

Dan: Experiencing new and exciting things is an ideal way to form a unique bond with your partner. So try something different. If you’re from a cooler state, a tropical destination like Phuket or Honolulu is perfect. Otherwise, an exotic destination like Japan can be great.

Jetstar flies to Hobart, Launceston, Phuket, Honolulu, Tokyo and Osaka. Book online at Jetstar.com

7 DATING SECRETS DAN BACON’S

1. Realise that women do want to be approached: You’ll be surprised at how receptive most women are when you walk up to start a conversation.
2. Focus on being social, rather than trying to pick up: Women can smell desperation a mile away.
3. Be real: If you put on a false persona, women will notice and it will turn them off .
4. Read her signals of interest: If a woman is continuing to talk to you, chances are, she likes you. If she didn’t like you, she’d excuse herself and leave.
5. Use flirting: If you think a woman is interested in you while chatting to her, give her a smirk and squint your eyes at her for about 1-2 seconds. She’ll immediately understand that you’re saying, “You like me… and you know that I know it. This is fun!”
6. Get her talking: One of the secrets to keeping conversations going is to get the other person talking about their life, their stories and their opinions. Don’t just reply politely — make her laugh, by playfully making fun of some of the things she talks about.
7. Move things forward: As well as approaching in the first place, it’s also the man’s role to move things forward to a phone number, a kiss or a second date.

SINGLES TOGETHER

Try some new ways to meet other singles

Fit 2 Date brings single people together for outdoor workout sessions. “Over the four-week course, you expand your social network, create new friendships and get an awesome workout,” says Fit 2 Date founder, Erica French. Fit 2 Date runs in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, the Gold Coast and Perth. Visit www.fit2date.com.au.

Dream Date is a Valentine’s Day party (on February 13) for singles — with a difference. “Our thrill rides are guaranteed to kick-start conversation,” says Jennifer Neville, events manager at the Gold Coast’s Dreamworld theme park. She’s confident that the mix of rides, live entertainment and games will lead to a romantic rush. More details are at www.dreamworld.com.au.

Skyecandy is a video dating service that operates via Skype. Launching on 3 February, the service operates 24 hours a day. “It’s not a long process, like a lot of dating services,” say founder Melonie Ryan. “You see straight away what they look like, so you’re not being misled by a photo.” Visit www.skyecandy.com.

Koala Adventure Island is designed as a place for the over-18s to make new friends. Ben Malin, operations manager of the Whitsunday Islands, says, “We run a lot of group activities, including volleyball and nature walks, and it’s such a friendly atmosphere,” he says. Visit www.koalaadventureisland.com.

TRUDY GILBERT’S 7 DATING SECRETS

1. Be comfortable with yourself: Know you have a lot offer, and believe you’re a good catch.
2. Practise the four Cs: Be curious, courteous, confident and (for men) chivalrous. Old-fashioned manners are in.
3. Be genuinely interested in getting to know your date.
4. Understand what you want in a partner, so you can recognise it when you see it: Focus on essential qualities — reliability, honesty, genuineness — rather than superfluous stuff like their height or how much they earn.
5. Don’t underestimate the importance of body language and eye contact.
6. Learn the delicate art of attraction, or flirting: There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know you like them.
7. Don’t be negative — don’t complain about problems or talk about your ex.